Tips and Advice: selecting the right people to be on your bridal party

Photo by Eugene Kam Photography

I cannot underscore enough the importance of picking the right people to serve as your bridesmaids and groomsmen. On several occasions in my wedding planning career, brides and grooms have confided in me, sharing their frustration with the bridesmaid who seldom calls back... or the groomsman whose arm has to be twisted to go in for a tuxedo fitting... or the opinionated bridal party member who shoots down all of the bride's ideas for her wedding... or even the groomsmen who never plan a bachelor "outing" for the groom... It breaks my heart when couples do not receive the support they should when preparing for such a significant occasion in their lives.

Part of the problem lies in the choice of bridal party members. Often times, couples select bridesmaids and groomsmen out of obligation. They feel they ought to ask certain people to be on their bridal party because this is their oldest friend, or their future sister/brother-in-law, or because the other person asked him/her to be on that person's bridal party previously... There are countless reasons why couples have chosen someone to be on their bridal party just because they felt they should.

However, I would urge couples to instead consider those individuals who will truly take their role as bridesmaid or groomsman to heart. These people should be ones who sincerely care for the bride and groom, and who will take an active part in helping the bride or groom ensure the success of their wedding. Such bridesmaids and groomsmen, maids of honor and best men, make all the difference in seeing to it that the bride and groom enjoy not just their wedding day, but the process of planning it leading up to that special occasion.

Photo by Kris Labang Photography

I have witnessed a number of instances where members of the bridal party have gone above and beyond the call of duty to make the bride's or groom's experience extra special. Some will go shopping with the bride for her gown, or they will even plan unique and creative bonding events such as a bridal party scavenger hunt before the wedding. Another memorable example was the planning and preparation of skits for the couple, performed at their wedding receptions. Even just basic and kind-hearted gestures like helping to assemble favors or helping the couple by running errands for them can make all the difference in a couple feeling supported and extra excited about tying the knot. When it comes to selecting your bridal party members, choose wisely; you'll thank me for it.Photo by Kai Photo

Happy planning!